K POEMS FEBRUARY 2010
Banana Tips
When the dogs are home,
and I am having a banana,
or baking banana bread,
I always cut the tips
of the bananas off
and throw them to the dogs.
My dogs love bananas.
I am home now from
the hospital, and from
the rehab facility
and my hip is not yet
strong enough for the dogs
to be home.
I felt a tinge of sadness
as I cut the tips off the
banana that I was going to
put in my oatmeal this morning,
because my dogs aren't here.
Instead of eating the tips,
though, I am going to save
them for the dogs.
When they get home, I will
have banana tips in abundance
for them, and they will smile.
My cats are glad that I am home, and so am I
I am home, and they are still there,
most of them, raising their beds
with a button, having trays of food
brought to them three times a day,
going to physical therapy in the morning,
many of them playing bingo downstairs,
on Tuesdays.
Pondering
It is raining outside
and I wonder, this morning,
on how many mornings of my life
has it rained?
The Itchies
My beard itches this morning.
I think that the cat and dog hair
in this apartment contribute to
the itchies, because, while I was gone
from the abode for three weeks
I don't recall itching my beard.
How long before old buttons go away?
She can still push my buttons,
or, more accurately,
I still let my buttons be pushed.
How long does it take before
the buttons go away?
How long before you can treat someone
who you once loved civilly?
Is it really love when your buttons
can be pushed?
I need to figure this out;
perhaps a second cup of coffee would help.
Help Help
They are saying that if you are late paying
your bill that they may want to charge you
a deposit. Isn't that a bit like handing a
drowning man or woman a cement life preserver?
Yum Yum
It's about time
for breakfast.
I really love breakfast.
Today, I will have some
oatmeal with bananas
and peanut butter
I believe
God does not discriminate,
God believes in Love not Hate.
It's love that we are all yearning for;
love can save the world.
Jaggar, my black cat, is being overly affectionate, which I love, because, usually, he stays far away from me and any displays of love. When I got home, yesterday, he was on my bed, and he let me pet him, like a regular cat would, and Jaggar has never been a regular cat.
Like I have told you before, Jaggar was found in a McDonald's parking lot with his chest caved in, his mother laying dead next to him. Some person, in a hurry for a hamburger, perhaps, had killed her, and maimed him.
A kind stranger took him to the vet that I was going to at the time; the vet nursed him back to health, and then entrusted me with Mr. Jaggar. I think that the way that he was raised had a lot to do with his customary standoffish behavior. Also, maybe, his mom was feral, and the two of them were living in that fast food parking lot, and eating leftover Big Macs from the dumpster.
In any event, I have always hoped that Jaggar would start showing me some part of the affection that my other cat, Kobain, has almost always shown me. Kobain climbed right on my chest last night, and we picked right back up where we were three weeks and three days ago, when I went in to have my left hip replaced, with me giving Kobain an intense head scratch and a nice full body rub.
The dogs are not home yet; I am limping around on a cane, and it might be dangerous to have them here, just yet. Kevin is doing a great job with Bundy, teaching him all kinds of new tricks, and disciplining him in great ways. Morisson has three other dogs to run with over at G2's and Andy's house, and is enjoying, greatly, being part of the pack.
My turtles, Prynce and Rue Paul, were glad to see me, also. Turtles communicate in a much more subtle way than cats and dogs, but I understand my turtles. They smiled, waved, and did a few cartwheels of joy, upon my return!!
I cooked my first welcome home meal last night. I positioned my walker in front of the sink for support, and used my cane to get in and out of the kitchen, just as I am using it to get everywhere else in this beautiful abode. I am trying to portion my meals, and make them balanced, like they were in Rehab. I lost ten pounds up there, and would like to lose ten plus ten plus ten plus ten more!!!
It is really nice to be drinking full strength home brewed coffee again.
I really enjoyed the many people who surrounded me up on The Rehab Unit, but it is good to be home.
But, still, I shy away from him
He was a good looking kid,
when he was younger,
I understand, now,
why so many women were interested in him.
No fear is fun
It is going to be lights out soon
I m going to go to bed early
although this second cup of pm coffee
that I just had might interfere with that.
What a day.
I got out of Rehab, today,
not the kind of Rehab that you go to
for being a drunk,
but the kind of rehab that you go to
when you have just had a new hip installed
inside you.
My cats are glad to see me,
and so are my turtles,
they tell me in their turtle way.
Freedom is living fear free,
and I fear nothing tonight,
not even this notice from The Electric Company
saying that they are going to shut my heat off.
Her Beauty
Woman is so beautiful;
I want one.
Jaggar was on my bed, when I opened the door to the abode for the first time in three weeks, and three days, and he let me pet him just like a normal cat would, which is amazing because Jaggar never lets me pet him.
Kevin had trouble figuring out how to put the toilet extender over the toilet. It is funny how things that help the handicapped out so much are alien to us.
I drove the little electric care around the grocery store just like my Physical Therapist said that I should. It was weird to be the crippled guy in the store. I am blessed that my handicap is only temporary.
I have had help over the last three weeks that was unimaginable to me before it occurred to me.
I'm home, after having hip replacement surgery, and going to rehab, for the first time in three weeks, and three days, and for two hours I have been on the phone trying to find out why my internet didn't work...it turned out that I had the Ethernet cord plugged into the wrong outlet.
Nobody brought me my dinner tray, tonight...I am home!! I fixed a nice dinner that is, portion-wise, in line with what they were serving me on The Unit. I also ate the different food groups like they were serving us, and I hardly ever used to do this. Why am I telling you about my dinner?
It is good to be home. I thank everybody at Manor Care on North Decatur Rd. It was almost like a vacation hanging out with you guys, and getting better!! When I got there I was curled in the fetal position, unable to walk, and I am leaving you walking strong with a cane. You perform miracles, you do. you Physical Therapists, and I thank you.
If you'd like to read a bit about my adventures on The Rehab Unit, simply click here:
http://rehabtheknovel.blogspot.com/
My heating bill is almost up to five hundred dollars. I need about 2 to pay the past due. If you could chip in on this, even a little bit, I assure you that I will pass it on, as I heal. Thanks.
http://www.mikelk.com/
Inconsiderate Woman
His daughter comes in
to our shared hospital room
shortly before I am leaving
and immediately starts complaining
about some man
she is loud
I turn The Stones on
LOUD
in my headphones
to shut her out
my poor roommate
her father
trying to recover from neck surgery
has to listen to her.
I'm certainly not self-less all the time
It's hot; I am sweating, and he asks me to turn up the heat.
"Sure," I say, knowing that I am going to suffer.
You can stop; it's never too late
You're always high.
You're always saying goodbye
to opportunity that you worked
so hard to create.
I don't want to play God
I don't want to play Drill Sergeant
I don't want to play Judge
I don't want to play Jury
I don't want to play God.
Balance
Laugh on a rock
in the forest.
Smile while stuck
in traffic
on your way home.
Conclusion
Whether I am big,
whether you are small,
one thing I am certain of
is that God loves us all.
Imminent Tear Drops?
If you ask me why
I might turn and walk away
or maybe I will stare into your eyes
and cry.
Freaking out won't pay it
I don t know how I am going to pay my electric bill
I really don't,
but I'm not going to freak out about it, tonight.
Belief System
Some people believe in Jesus.
Some people believe in Peace and Love.
Some people believe in coffee.
If the will is truly free
Life is fascinating, and for the most part,
people can't fuck it up on you.
Heaven Please
The arthritis in my knees
has been bothering me.
I have a new hip,
I don't want new knees.
Manic Upheaval
An hour ago, I could have been anybody,
now I am just me.
I found myself wide awake at 330am, this morning. My roommate had turned his tv down for me, around ten, but had the volume back up, waking me; plus I had a late night coffee. TV kills me; it just kills me. Why let someone else's thoughts constantly intrude into yours? My roommate is a tv addict. He has it on all day long, every day of every week, of every month, of every year.
"You o.k.," he said to me as I got up out of bed at this God-Awful time. I have to love him. He is 78 years old, and had a neck operation to avoid further upper body paralysis. His wife said that the operation had a fifty fifty live or die ratio to it, and he lived. He is doing so well. He has gone from laying in bed all day to getting up early and taking a shower, and then heading down to the Physical Therapy Room.
I am going home in 12 hours. I have been here for three weeks. The experience has been exhilerating. I have learned so much. I have come so far since having my hip replaced three weeks ago. I love this place. I love my roommate. I hate tv!
Right before the surgery, I remember talking to someone. I figure that I must have been sitting down, or laying down, but I don't remember. I do remember waking up, what seemed like immediately, and facing my son, and daughter, and Kevin, my co-dad.
That fist night I believe that I was on morphine. The kids left the tv on when they left, on a video music channel, and I sat up and watched music videos all night. It was kind of a horrifying experience. It was as if I was in some of the videos, somehow inside them. I didn't realize until around six am that I had control of a remote control and could turn the videos off. I would much have rathered to have slept that first night. I think that it would have been much more productive than watching music videos all night.
I was in a great deal of pain that night, despite the drugs that I was on. I was very disoriented, and at least a little bit unhappy. There was a woman there who would come when I pushed a button, but soon she did not come soon enough, did not fulfull my requests soon enough. I Dream of Jeanie was not like this. Tony Gordon got his wishes fulfilled immediately.
I yelled at the lady, and told her that she was no good at what she did. She kept bringing me water, and cranberry juice cocktails. The next day I told a friend that the lady was mean to me. My friend made a comment about it to the lady. The lady said, "Oh yes, I was mean to YOU," and recited all the things that I had said and done to her. I blushed, and apologized. I could vaguely remember that she was right, that I was impatient and domineering. Drugs are bad.
I was in the hospital for four days. I don't remember much about it, except for the fact that my family visited a lot. Kevin, Gigi and the kids were at my side when I needed them. They remember things about this time that I have forgotten. I will have to ask them. I had never been in an ambulance until leaving that hospital. They strapped me to a gurney and lifted me into one, and drove me across the street to a rehab facility. That is where I have spent the last three weeks. That is where I met my fantastic roommate, Dave, the one who is a tv addict! I also met a lot of cool people.
There was a nurse named Olivia; she was the head nurse, I think, some sort of boss but she didn t act like a boss. She was a Gemini, who constantly laughed, always had a smile on her face. She made you feel special, not like you were just another guy wearing a diaper at night, just in case.
I realized, tonight, that they served us no pasta the whole time that I have been here. I have lost ten pounds eating here, eating moderate portions of good food. When I go home, I want to continue eating like I have been here: no meat, two veggies, and a fruit.
Whoever cooks the food here does a marvelous job. I have never not enjoyed institutionalized food, except for the crap that they serve you in jail(I used to visit the drunk tank, regularly, when I was younger, and still imbibing.)
They bring a tray to your room three times a day. I am spoiled. One night, one of the ladies even followed me down to the room where the internet was. I was so surprised, and I felt so special. This place is special. Let me tell you more about it.
Power
The power is in your hands
the power is in my glands
follow the leader
then the leader must follow
It seems absurd, but for now
this is my word.
Is this not alright?
I'm pretty sure that they say
that you should wear pajamas
at night:
so what then if you wear one set of clothes
through the day and through the night?
Wife
Her incessant chatter
was music to his ears.
Some thoughts from a Friday night while the hip is heeling
I am tired, and in a bit of pain,
not sure if I need the percocet
that I can't afford to buy.
It is cold in here, even though
the heat is turned up:
the main thing that is "hot" is the bill.
I miss Morisson, and Bundy.
I long for the day when I can be with them, again,
but I realize that I must take it slow.
I am so very thankful for everything,
the people in my life, now,
the people in my life in the past.
I am celebrating 18 years sober,
18 years clean and sober, today.
No wild partying here, though.
Have a good day, anyway
Polticians and Priests Lie
Soldiers Die.
The unemployment rate is
never what they say.
They manipulate the facts,
but I am going to have
a good day, anyway.
It just occurred to me that I am 18 years sober, today, February 5 2010...wow. Thank you to all of you who helped me sober up, and stay there, and, thank you, MY HIGHER POWER!
A little bit more than weird
The guitar player whips his dick out
and puts it in your girlfriend's hair,
and he gets away with it
because he is the guitar player.
An advanced degree in skateboarding
Always heading off to skate
You'll be late for your wedding date
You and the boys are like surfers
always looking for the next wave.
Thanks to these fine fine folks who have sent me $108 of the $234.41 that I need for the past due part of my $473.31 utility/heat bill that has grown while I have been in the hospital, and out of work. If you would like to contribute please put some money in my tip jar at www.mikelk.com I appreciate it, very much!!
http://www.mikelk.com/
As the hip heals, I am surrounded with
My cane is my constant companion
When I walk, it leads me.
When I sit, it sits next to me.
I have a walker in the kitchen,
to hold me, as I prepare food.
I have a toilet extender,
with firm arms to support me,
as I get up and down.
This is such a help, I can't tell you.
I take less showers, these days,
because of the pain, at first,
and because of the discomfort, now,
that the operation has been had,
but I have a shower seat in there,
for when I do.
I have a thing that lets me reach for
things and grab them,
without bending over,
which I am not supposed to do.
I have the experiences that I had
in the Physical Therapy Room,
with the Physical Therapists,
back at Rehab,
to help keep me safe,
and help make the hip strong.
I have you, and I have me,
friends on the internet,
a not so invisible support system,
that I adore.
I have God, my God,
the God that I believe in.
You have your beliefs;
let's move forward together.
Posted by mikel k poetat 6:35 AM0 comments Links to this post
I wake at five because I have to pee. My new pee jar is already full, so I have to grab my cane and walk down the hallway to the bathroom. I have left the bathroom light on, so that I can see. (That was suggested to me in the steps for safety letter that the Rehab Place that I was in sent home to me: light is good!)
I was groggy when I headed to the head, but when I lay back on the bed, I find that I am wide awake. I glance at the time; it is 5:05 a.m. I like to rise at 5 and write. When I was getting my English degree/Journalism minor, back at State, and instructor told us that the best time for writing was at 5 a.m. I thought that she was crazy. I was often not in bed until around 2 to 4, and certainly was not going to get up on a couple of hours' sleep to write!
5 a.m. is pure. Most people are still asleep. The air is not full of the sound of the horns of cars, the sound of tires grinding on highways, the sound of people going to work, the sound of people living, breathing, making noise outside of sleep. In order to enjoy the purity of 5 a.m., though, you have to got to bed early. I am shooting, now, for hitting the pillow between 9 and 10.
Life is a gift.
I want to live it to the fullest.
Posted by mikel k poetat 6:28 AM0 comments Links to this post
Due to my hip, I don t much go out...didn't even really know it was raining yesterday. I yearn for the day when I can go out in the rain.
Posted by mikel k poetat 6:06 AM0 comments Links to this post
As I am a making my coffee at 6:41 a.m., I hear a cat crying out loud, outside, and I feel for that cat, realizing that it is in pain. I look at my two cats, patiently waiting to be fed their morning tea spoon of wet cat food, and I realize that I further realize how blessed I am: my cats are warm, and well-fed, and so am I.
As the hip heals, I am surrounded with
My cane is my constant companion
When I walk, it leads me.
When I sit, it sits next to me.
I have a walker in the kitchen,
to hold me, as I prepare food.
I have a toilet extender,
with firm arms to support me,
as I get up and down.
This is such a help, I can't tell you.
I take less showers, these days,
because of the pain, at first,
and because of the discomfort, now,
that the operation has been had,
but I have a shower seat in there,
for when I do.
I have a thing that lets me reach for
things and grab them,
without bending over,
which I am not supposed to do.
I have the experiences that I had
in the Physical Therapy Room,
with the Physical Therapists,
back at Rehab,
to help keep me safe,
and help make the hip strong.
I have you, and I have me,
friends on the internet,
a not so invisible support system,
that I adore.
I have God, my God,
the God that I believe in.
You have your beliefs;
let's move forward together.
I wake at five because I have to pee. My new pee jar is already full, so I have to grab my cane and walk down the hallway to the bathroom. I have left the bathroom light on, so that I can see. (That was suggested to me in the steps for safety letter that the Rehab Place that I was in sent home to me: light is good!)
I was groggy when I headed to the head, but when I lay back on the bed, I find that I am wide awake. I glance at the time; it is 5:05 a.m. I like to rise at 5 and write. When I was getting my English degree/Journalism minor, back at State, and instructor told us that the best time for writing was at 5 a.m. I thought that she was crazy. I was often not in bed until around 2 to 4, and certainly was not going to get up on a couple of hours' sleep to write!
5 a.m. is pure. Most people are still asleep. The air is not full of the sound of the horns of cars, the sound of tires grinding on highways, the sound of people going to work, the sound of people living, breathing, making noise outside of sleep. In order to enjoy the purity of 5 a.m., though, you have to got to bed early. I am shooting, now, for hitting the pillow between 9 and 10.
Life is a gift.
I want to live it to the fullest.
Due to my hip, I don t much go out...didn't even really know it was raining yesterday. I yearn for the day when I can go out in the rain.
As I am a making my coffee at 6:41 a.m., I hear a cat crying out loud, outside, and I feel for that cat, realizing that it is in pain. I look at my two cats, patiently waiting to be fed their morning tea spoon of wet cat food, and I realize that I further realize how blessed I am: my cats are warm, and well-fed, and so am I.
Pushing Buttons
Gosh that is not the button
that I meant to push; here
I am at the wrong page. No
need for rage; I can push
another button, and be where
I am supposed to be.
I pray outside The Church
I am helpless to help a friend
who is slipping into the big D,
or am I?
I am about to slip into the
seven minute pray that I try
to do everyday; does prayer
work, or are those of us who pray
just fooling ourselves.
I'm mostly a failure at love
Our actions should not be based on fear.
Our love should not be...
hell, I don't know how our love should be.
My name is Bippy(Dde to a Cyndi Craven Song)
My name is Bippy
Bippy the shoe
and I sit around all day
and watch what Cyndi
and her cats do,
and sometimes,
Cyndi puts me on,
and then I am moving about, too.
Yeah, yeah I am Blippy, the shoe,
and with Cyndi, and her cats,
is my home.
I am happy, here.
I hope that you are happy, too.
I was in "the music business" for awhile. I think, for awhile, with one of the papers, I got paid thirty bucks a week. I wasn't in it for the money: I loved music, and I loved the Atlanta Music scene. The musicians of Atlanta opened their arms to me, for the three or four, off and on, years, that I was a music writer, and invited me out to gigs, into studios, and into their hearts and minds.
Unfortunately, there was a place in the music scene where I liked to get "paid," and that was at the bar. I cultivated bartenders love, and attention, as assiduously, as I did the care of the musicians.
I hated to pay for drinks, and I started to write about the bartenders, also, to keep the drinks flowing. I also wrote about the doormen, to assure that I got into the clubs free for my free drinks on the nights when I wasn't on a bands guest list. Mind you, Atlanta had some mighty, might fine bartenders in the day: great people, who could mix a fine fine drink. Ruth Anne at the Masquerade, at the time, comes to mind: God rest her soul.
(More to come...)
K Theory 101
I have to be hit up side the face to read you;
I don't read you just because.
Tick Tock
Sometimes, it seems like there is no enough hours in the day
even when the day has just started
That is when I have to remember to breath in an out,
and keep the amount of coffee that I drink down.
As I think I told you, when it gets time to pray, I can never remember most of the people who I want to pray for, and the people who have asked me to pray for them(who I want to pray for also!) I don't get tied up about Christ or Allah, Buddha or Krishna when I pray...I just pray like hell. I don't say any prayers that a church gave me...I just talk to God/My Higher Power/ The Creator as I would to you.
The other day, I decided to try two new things in my praying: 1) I would do a timed 7 minute prayer in the afternoon on top of my shorter morning and evening prayers, and 2) I would start a list of those who have asked me to pray for them, as well as those I love and pray for without being requested to: sort of organized praying, with no one organizing me, but me, the way that I think that it should be.
I don't know if there is a God, but I have faith in something; maybe it is the universal spirit that moves through all of us. I don't care. I like having faith. Without having faith, I might be lost.
If you would like to be added to my prayer list(or postive affirmation list you can think of it, if you have doubts about God, or don't believe in the concept at all, let me know.
God Bless Us All
Mikel K
Feb. 6, 2010
K Prayer List(Feel free to pray for these people, also; if you like...or send them positive affirmations.
Pam(in the final stages of cancer.) Ease her pain Lord.
Cynthia(Cuz she asked!)
Andrea's Mom(In a nursing home/might never go home.) I love her Lord. Please treat her right at The Home.
Lana Turner--Little Lana is just a small child and she has cancer. Please heal her Lord.
David--Tough times now; guide him, Lord.
Mitch and Diana--Guide their writing, and their love for each other, please Lord.
CC--Keep her happy, and motivated. Amen.
A note to myself about smoking: a reminder
Having been a smoker, from the ages of 18 to 38, I know how it is, and I know that nobody, but you, can tell you when to quit. It is a very personal decision, and the more people nag at you, the more likely that you are to not quit.
That said, I will say that smoking sucks. Smoking had me by the balls, and was trying to drag me into an early death. I was coughing blood after a good bender, I had bronchitis all the time. I hated cigarettes, but I would reach for one upon waking, and I would have one in my mouth for most of the day.
There was nothing "cool" about it. Cigarettes did not compliment my leather jacket.
Cigarettes were trying to rob me from time with my children, and grandchildren. Cigarettes were trying to keep me from writing all the great poems that are still left in me, that need time to come out.
People who smoke now smell like an ashtray to me. Cigarettes still scare me. I don't want to pick up ever again; and for this reason I pray to The Lord, every morning, to keep me off cigarettes(as well as drugs, and booze.)
I pray for those who still smoke that they can quit when they want to quit.
Desire is a great thing.
A new way of walking
It has been raining most of the week,
but I have, mostly, not noticed it
because I am confined to a wheelchair,
recovering from hip replacement surgery.
Confined is a bit of a misnomer:
I am also walking about the abode with a cane.
It is a new way of life for me,
using all these gadgets to get around;
I am blessed that it is not a permanent thing.
I never thought of it this way
It is hot by my desk, though there are cold patches
in this efficiency apartment that I live in.
My heating bill is way too high, I could use the money
to buy food, but I will have to eat less.
Considering that I need to lose forty pounds,
maybe it is good that my heating bill is high.
You cannot go over my turtles in a barrel
The water gurgling out of the filter in the turtle's aquarium
sounds, sometimes, like a mini Niagra Falls.
I went to Niagra Falls, once, when I was a kid,
so I know what I am talking about.
But my love for you is eternal
I'm in a wheelchair, but I'm only in it temporarily,
and, for this, I am very grateful.
I am using a walker, but I am only using it temporarily,
and, for this, I am grateful
I am walking with a cane, but I am only walking with it
temporarily, and, for this, I am thankful.
Satan was crying out for more cocaine
And I was crying because my baby had left me,
kicked me out on the street,
there was no pillow on the park bench,
and the foam behind the abandoned church got wet quick.
I never met anyone who I related to in The Soup Line,
and I soon missed taking a shower,
so I told the lady that I was wrong.
Any better now
I was going to say to her, "Hey, didn't I know you?"
but I didn't do it, because she was a bitch way back
then, and I doubt that her treatment of me would be
any better now.
You never know where anybody has been
I am crushed, if you don't love me.
I am crushed, if you don't pay me attention,
like a beer can used, crumpled
and thrown out into the street.
No more evening snoring
I am trying not to take a nap,
so that I can stay on this
get up at five a.m. thing.
Thought to ponder
Someone said that if libraries did not exist
that capitalists could sell more books.
Poor Thing
I think that the host must have gone down the wrong way
when she swallowed it on Sunday.
It went straight to hell, and though she thinks that she is basking
in the body of Christ, Satan rules her mind.
My turtles talk to me
Turtles get used to you, like dogs, and cats, and other household pets do. I noticed, one day, that when a friend approached my turtle tank that my turtles moved to the other end of the tank. They do not do this when I approach the tank. I guess they know who holds the hand that feeds them.
As I think I told you, when it gets time to pray, I can never remember most of the people who I want to pray for, and the people who have asked me to pray for them(who I want to pray for also!) I don't get tied up about Christ or Allah, Buddha or Krishna when I pray...I just pray like hell. I don't say any prayers that a church gave me...I just talk to God/My Higher Power/ The Creator as I would to you.
The other day, I decided to try two new things in my praying: 1) I would do a timed 7 minute prayer in the afternoon on top of my shorter morning and evening prayers, and 2) I would start a list of those who have asked me to pray for them, as well as those I love and pray for without being requested to: sort of organized praying, with no one organizing me, but me, the way that I think that it should be.
I don't know if there is a God, but I have faith in something; maybe it is the universal spirit that moves through all of us. I don't care. I like having faith. Without having faith, I might be lost.
If you would like to be added to my prayer list(or positive affirmation list you can think of it, if you have doubts about God, or don't believe in the concept at all, let me know.
God Bless Us All
Mikel K
Feb. 6, 2010
K Prayer List(Feel free to pray for these people, also; if you like...or send them positive affirmations.
Pam(in the final stages of cancer.) Ease her pain Lord.
Cynthia(Cuz she asked!)
Andrea's Mom(In a nursing home/might never go home.) I love her Lord. Please treat her right at The Home.
Lana Turner--Little Lana is just a small child and she has cancer. Please heal her Lord.
David--Tough times now; guide him, Lord.
Mitch and Diana--Guide their writing, and their love for each other, please Lord.
CC--Keep her happy, and motivated. Amen.
I know this guy who lost his job when he told his employer that he needed 6 to 8 weeks to recover from hip replacement surgery, and unemployment turned him down because he left the job "voluntarily," limping, in pain. He eats off food stamps, and feels guilty that he is not a true American cuz he's taking a "hand out." The utility company is shutting off his heat and lights in two weeks.
The Salvation Army voice mail tells him to call The United Way, and vice versa. A friend of the guy made him a tip jar, cuz he's an artist, and she thinks maybe people would like to put some money in it because they like his writing. He asks them to put money in it to help pay his bills, feeling guilty, like a bum, like a mooch.
That guy is me. If you can help me out, I promise that I will pass it on when I get better. Right now, I'm sitting in a wheelchair, and using a cane, and a walker to get about the house. Those of you that know me know that I am not lazy. Help me out will you: you might need help one day, and they say what goes around comes around.
Peace K
http://www.mikelk.com/
The waiting is the hardest part
I wait for my picture to upload on my computer,
as I wait for water to drip through my coffee grounds
into my cup in the kitchen. I wait for my daughter
to get back from the grocery store, from buying me
stamps: she was going to stop with a friend, for
a coffee, on the way back. I'm waiting until tomorrow
to get the antibiotics that I need, and I'm waiting
for love.
It made me cry
It made me cry:
that song made me cry.
I look at the huge amount of oxycodone pills that are sitting on my desk, and I realize that I could probably kill myself by taking them all; but I do not want to kill myself.
Maybe some day, if Alzheimer's is eminent, or cancer is for sure taking me to heaven, or hell, and is draining all my family's emotional and financial strength, I might consider getting myself a large glass of water and start to swallow the fairly large white pills, but that is a decision for another place, and time, that is hopefully far, far away.
I once swallowed half a bottle of aspirin, in a half hearted attempt to take myself to somewhere else pther than where I was, as a full blown alcoholic, and an undiagnosed, unmedicated bi-polar human being. All that happened I soon felt worse than I had felt before I tried to cure my giant headache.
I love life, and am glad that I am here breathing the air, today. I was once on what I call "The Failed Suicide Ward," of a state mental hospital, my one toke over the line drug of choice then being LSD, and I saw people who had shot themselves in the head, and lived, people who had jumped of bridges, and out of windows, that were high above the pavement, and lived, people who had swallowed many oxycodone, and lived, and there was probable someone in there who had swallowed more aspirin than I, and lived.
Now I sit here a normal man, no wild fleeting thoughts, back and forth from the deepest corners of my mind, no drink in had; no cigarette, even; no LSD, no pot, no speed and I am happy.
I am also blessed; there may be no God, but something, or someone was looking out for me way back when when I couldn't look out for myself.
I've had a couple of bands, in my time, most notably, "The Mikel K Band," (Google it,) and, sometimes I fantasize about having another band and what I would name it. The name, The Fuck You's, came to mind, this morning, and put a smile on my face thinking about what that name would draw to itself, or repel.
If the band had some momentum, it would be interesting to see how tv and radio and press handled the name...remember it was the B Hole Surfers who made it to radion, and not The Butthole Surfers!!!!! We can t say fuck you on the radio, yet our young soldiers die, everyday.
Couldn't you see the hello to the audience before we started to play: "Fuck You, we're The Fuck You's"
If the band had some momentum, it would be interesting to see how tv and radio and press handled the name...remember it was the B Hole Surfers who made it to radion, and not The Butthole Surfers!!!!! We can t say fuck you on the radio, yet our young soldiers die, everyday.
Mikel K Poet We could always sell out and call ourselves, "The Thank You's," to pull down the big checks.
Like you and me
They charge you hundreds of dollars to make your pet well
They make you feel guilty that your Dad is dead,
and you buy him a casket that comes with a clothes washer.
They run for President and Vice President so that
they can steal the country blind,
and you're going out of your mind trying to figure out
how to pay credit card bills from bankers who are fucking you,
while yet another house on your street gets foreclosed.
I'm praying like hell, but "we" just invaded another country,
the world needs to be free like you and me.
I know this guy who lost his job when he told his employer that he needed 6 to 8 weeks to recover from hip replacement surgery, and unemployment turned him down because he left the job "voluntarily"America is ready for another revolution!" Sarah Palin told the gathering. (She was paid a hundred thousand dollars to say this, or for her appearance, rather.)
Serge Zehmyan: Another instance of someone being technically correct for all the wrong reasons~!
Mikel K Poet: Good analysis, Serge. One man, or woman's revolution, is another man, or woman's, loss of job, and home.
Hi Mikel,
I like it how you promote the realities of life and associate this with your art, so that your love for writing stands out.
Susan Abraham
There's no sugar in my coffee
Baby, I'm running down by the river
I don't have any clothes on
You said you'd meet me
That you wanted it this way.
Last week, you said we'd meet by the ocean
but I walked in the sand alone.
Hey, have you got something going on?
There are moments when I feel that there is nothing happening in my life, but I know that this is not true. Sometimes, I still want to be bigger, go faster, achieve dreams that belong to someone else, but I know that this is not the way to go.
If I was a multi-millionaire with my face plastered on the cover of magazines, would I be any happier than I am now, broke, behind on the bills, no money to do anything but eat at home?
I need a lover. I need a million dollar lover who has already been on the cover. Ha! That would solve everything wouldn't it: let someone else pave my way.
No way.
I need to feed the turtles, now.
I know what is important.
--Mikel K
Feb. 7 2010
What's up with that?
Every time that I pay a bill,
a new bill appears.
Nobody wants me but
Maybe I have just written a best-seller,
but I am slow to review, and re-write it,
so the big bucks are not flowing in, yet,
and nobody wants my autograph, except for
a couple of credit card companies
who I couldn't pay, and they want it on a check,
and not on a copy of my memoir,
"Did you write the book of love?"
Zen dog?
My son got a new dog, yesterday
he didn't buy it from a pet store,
or get it from a dog rescue operation,
or from the pound,
he found it underneath his friend's car
as they were pulling out of a parking space.
We had to put down our oldest dog, Javi, recently
do you think that there is some sort of Zen
in the fact that this dog has show up needing love.
Javi was a golden lab; this dog, now named, Ninja
is a black lab.
Could this be Javi come back to us, Javi reincarnate?
Melanie and John just left
They evaluated me for home physical therapy
I had to pretend to use the toilet,
pretend to use a shower,
pretend to fix something in the kitchen.
I had to lay down on the bed,
and lift my leg, I had to get up,
and then balance myself on one leg.
They said that it would be a week or two,
before I could bring the dogs home.
They said that I still needed to use the cane
to get about my house.
John will be back on Wednesday,
and we will start working out.
Melanie was cute.
So, tell me...
"So, tell me about your kids and grand baby;
I assume it is that precious baby I saw in your pics.
she said to me, and I thought of it as an opportunity
to write a poem:
My oldest boy was five when I met him; quite into tv,
as I recall; a very well-behaved kid, didn't give me
any trouble at all.
He's a dad, now, got a little boy; they play for hours,
bringing each other great, great joy.
My bio boy is 20. He didn't go to college,
he is pursuing a trade: auto mechanic.
He loves his momma, and his skateboard, just got a new dog,
and the girl, my girl, who doesn't belong to me by blood, but love,
is in high school; I can't believe it.
She will graduate in two years, and then what will I do;
all my kids might be too old to need me.
Even if you don't believe
After lunch, I hear the sound of trash cans rumbling on the street, and I am thankful for garbage men, like I am thankful for the food that I have just eaten, though I forgot to pray over it. I really want to pray over my food, before I eat it; I think that it is a good idea to give thanks before eating, whether you believe in anything, or not.
No faith
She dreams, but she won't pray;
God just doesn't exist for her, today.
Can I borrow your rig, mate?
I do not wish to become a junkie
strung out in the alley shooting oxycodone.
My pharmacist assured me, yesterday,
that this would not happen,
if I followed my doctor's orders,
and only used the pills as prescribed.
If there was a waitress here I'd ask for a refill
My coffee is cold, by the time I get to it, this morning,
I have discovered a new poet who I like, and I spent too
much time with her while my coffee was waiting. I can always
brew another cup of coffee, but finding new poets that I like
is rare, so I am glad that I went with it.
We all fall down
For awhile, I set my cane to the left of my desk
lean it against a picture that I don't have room on the wall for,
in this small apartment. And then, I lean it against a chair,
that sits to the right of my desk, a chair that I never sit in,
but that I use like a bookshelf, to put books, and papers,
and dirty cups, and plates, before I carry them in to the kitchen.
I am looking for a spot, where the cane is easily accessible
when I get up from my desk, where I am spending most of my time,
nursing this new hip into being one with me, where I spent most
of my time before I got the new time, where I spend most of my time,
period.
Family Affairs
Do you guide the mother,
or does the mother guide you?
As the father scolds you,
do you scold him inside,
waiting for the day that
you can express yourself,
and tell him what an asshole
that he has always been.
Signal before turning
There is no small ceramic dog shaking his head
on the dashboard of my second car,
there are no flowers, no magnets that say, "I am loved."
My second car is a walker, I rely less on it
than I do a cane, these days, as my left hip heals.
Submission Dilemma
There are so many of them,
that I am never sure which ones to give them,
so I want to just give them the same ones over and over
until everyone in the world has read those three.
Sometimes, it's not that easy
Mother Teresa will not find
most of the people who need
her help in heaven,
and she didn't find most of
them while she was on earth.
They sit in front of us
with their hands out,
and we ignore them thinking,
perhaps, that they should
clean up, and get a job,
like we have.
This alarm delights me
I love the sound of the microwave bell
letting me know that my hot tea is ready.
I let the tea steep for a bit, in the microwave,
before I open the door, pull the cup out,
add milk, and drink.
But still we are here
I was just thinking how it was weird
that neither of the cats were down
by their bowls, thinking that it was time
for their morning snack, since I had
woken up early, when Kobain came marching
into the kitchen. It is one a.m.,
far too early to be feeding that cat,
and far too early for me to have woken up.
The difference between certain junkies and me
Yesterday, I learned that in certain circles
oxycodone is more popular than crack
that the junkies are shooting it, snorting it
doing with it what they do with heroin.
I have the itchies from the oxycodone that
I have been prescribed to take for pain
from my hip replacement surgery, and can't wait
to stop taking the drug.
On different days
Sometimes, I feel like an old shoe
that sits in the corner ignored,
but, sometimes, I get lots of attention,
and I love it.
In certain situations
I don't have your number,
so you will have to call me.
A plea for millions to the Lord!
I have a friend who helps me greatly,
and expects nothing in return.
God, grant me, one day, a million dollars,
so that I can share it with him.
This is great news
My physical therapist says
that it should be about a week or two
before I can put my cane down,
and start walking unassisted
with my new hip.
And I'm not sure what the forecast is for today
The near constant rain that we are having
abated yesterday; some sunshine arrived.
A morning whisper
I woke up, wide awake, much too early this morning,
but, sometimes, you just have to go with it,
so I got up, and am sitting here, now, talking to you.
I imagine that you can't hear me.
I imagine that you are asleep,
but I am going to whisper in your ear, anyway.
I know what a ghost in the machine is now
My dog will never talk to me, again
but he lives on in my heart and soul.
The old guy in the mirror
Sometimes, I look in the mirror,
and I see this older man staring back at me.
It surprises me, for a second, I wonder who he is.
I do not want to lose my feet
I am soaking my foot in lukewarm water,
as the podiatrist instructed me to do;
and then I will apply the lotion
that he gave me to the bottom of my foot.
He gave me a large supply of samples,
I will not have to buy lotion anytime soon.
I have to take good care of my feet,
especially since I am diabetic.
A person who is diabetic can lose his feet,
if he, or she, is not careful.
What a computer addict misses out on
The sun shining through my window is deceptive
Opening the front door, I find that it is cold out,
like my friend on the internet told me that it would be.
Sometimes, I discover things about the real world
on the computer before I experience them
by opening a door or looking out a window.
I'm not sure if this matters
I used to lift weights quite a bit,
but I never got a bodybuilders body.
Know it all
Nobody has it figured out;
we are all still scratching out heads
to some degree.
Alluring music a jerk does not make
Nick Cave once wrote that Bukowski was a jerk.
I don't know if he meant this, or was just trying
to get attention for his song. Nick Cave might be
a jerk, for all I know, though I do find his music
alluring.
Air Born
They are having trouble putting in my new ceiling fan,
but I know that they will get it in because they always
do a good job around here.
Is God on your side?
Your camera is broken,
your car is smashed,
your dog escaped through a hole in the fence.
Is God on your side?
Your house was foreclosed on,
the bank took your car away,
your daughter made an F in math.
Is God on your side?
You caught your love cheating,
Your doctor says you have breast cancer,
Your son broke his leg sliding into home.
Is God on your side?
This could go on forever;
you catch my drift.
It sure would help
I'm checking in with unemployment
because they told me to
because they turned me down.
They said if you want to appeal,
you got to keep on checking in.
I'm not being either an optimist,
or a pessimist, over this,
but it sure would help to get approved.
I dug deep in my pocked,
but there was nothing there.
I called up my banker,
he said he didn't care
that I was broke.
Black Out
I can't remember what happened;
I don't know what to say to The Judge.
Seeking mania
Everything seems plain today
the normal mania that invades my existence
is not here, right now.
Maybe I should drink some coffee,
to try and induce some excitement into my life.
Where did I go?
I went into the bottle
when I went away to school,
you could see it coming,
but I wouldn't listen.
I went to L.A. running away,
from what I had been in Orlando,
and Tallahassee, a drunk,
but, when I got to L.A.
I was there with me.
Where did I go?
Where did I go?
I became a punk in Atlanta,
I fit into the scene,
there were many drunk like me.
Is God on your side?
THIS IS A MESS IN HERE. I HAVE BEEN POSTING POEMS
FROM THE DAILY K IN BLOG TO JAN 2010 INSTEAD OF
HERE. ARGH!!
I am a slave to the one I love
She said that maybe I should let the poetry go
while I am writing the memoirs; and she is right,
but I am scared to let the poetry go,
scared that it will never return to me.
On Punctuation
An apostrophe can bog me down;
I can spend minutes with it,
instead of reading your story.
It interrupts the flow
that you have created.
It interrupts the flow
that I have created.
It takes away from the beauty
of our stories like all punctuation can.
I wish that it did not have
this control over me, but it does.
I must master it, or it will slay me.
Oh punctuation thou art an evil master.
Other than love
The Gods, God, The Creator, Our Higher Power
sometimes determine what we, and science, can't
like the smile given to a grandchild
from a man with no direct connection to him
other than love.
I made a cup of coffee around 4 p.m. and forgot, somehow, that I had made it until around 9 p.m., when I started craving it. Should I drink it, I wondered, when I am so close to bed, and I am hankering to get up early. The coffee tempted me, but I held off. Maybe it would be wise to not drink coffee so close to bedtime, as I usually do.
I fell asleep right away, last night, around ten, and amazingly, I did not wake up several times during the night. I had vivid dreams of a friend from my past who had always battled crack cocaine. He was trying to win that fight in my dream, and we were hanging out being sober together, reveling in our sobriety, loving our sobriety.
Maybe I have learned a new trick here; that it is not a good thing to drink a cup of coffee near bedtime.
Snore.
The word ciao (Italian pronunciation: [ˈtʃa.o], English: /ˈtʃaʊ/) is an informal Italian verbal salutation or greeting, meaning either "hi" or "goodbye"--From Wikipedia
The Italians have it covered,
they can say hi and bye to you,
at the same time.
I find this amazing.
Ciao.
I start snapping my fingers, and dancing in my wheelchair to The Doors. I was trying to catch my cat Kobain's attention, and I did; he started for me, but not before sticking his nose in his food jar. He had just eaten some nice white albacore that I had saved him from my lunch, and was thinking, hey maybe this is a buffet, maybe this is and endless bowl of tuna. He comes to my feet, and realizes, that there is nothing up, no snacks being handed out, just me dancing to the band, as I have a thousand times before and he walks on.
It might have been four years.
Hell, it might have only been a year;
I'm not really sure. I never kept a
calendar, never made a resume, either;
not in the traditional sense. I have
slopped together a few gigs, and put
resume at the top, but it really wasn't
a resume. I refuse to wear a tie, too.
Ties suck. Ties are like dog leashes,
only when you wear one it means that
someone has you by the balls and is
leading you around.
I don't like surgery. I don't like the post pain, I don't like the drugs involved. That said, I am blessed that surgery is what it is. I have a new hip because of surgery, I am not in the intense pain that I was in before surgery. Yeah surgery!
You don't mess with a Country Singer
I like George Strait
Looking at his pictures,
I think I could kick his ass,
but I like him.
Just because I think that I
can kick your ass, doesn't
automatically mean that I
will like you; in fact I might
dislike you because I can kick your ass.
Fighting is stupid,
but this gal, Harmony, got me
to thinking about it, today,
when we was talking on the computer.
I think that she has been a few fights herself,
in fact I would bet on it.
I'm tired of fighting,
or, at the least, I'm tired of going to jail,
and there got to be a time where every time
I got in a fight, I wound up in jail.
Drunk, of course.
Jail is fucking stupid, and they treat you like
you are an asshole, which, most likely, you was
to wind up in jail.
The George Strait song that I was listening to
on the You Tube just ended(sometimes I just listen
to the songs, and don't watch.)
I'm going to go play some more George Strait,
and think about how stupid it was for talking
about kicking the man's ass.
George Strait would pull out a pistol,
and I'd be dead.
You don't mess with a country singer.
--Mikel K
(For Harmony, and Val, and Cynthia, and all the other
women who made me feel good, today, when I was feeling
like shit coming down off these pills that made me feel
good while my hip was bad.)
Take me
Take me over
to the other side
Change my image;
make me somebody
they would like to come to see
Make me
the cd that they want to pick up
Take me to the place
where there is money in my cup
Take me
Take me
Holden Caufield is dead
She sounds like an old broken record
"work hard and the rewards will come,
work hard and the rewards will come,"
it seems to me that the motto,
"steal like hell, and then invest your money
in the government, as in buy as many Senators,
and Vice Presidents as you can, and you will
reap the rewards.
Of course, I realize that my pissy mood,
is due to the pills; I have not taken a oxycodone
since 10 am yesterday.
The depression, the anger about nothing, is lingering,
but it is almost gone: let people think what they think,
but all that hard work ever got you was a bad back,
and, if you had insurance, someone was then looking at
your back for a pay check.
It's a sick, sad, miserable fucking world; it really is.
Ha ha.
Holden Caufield is dead.
A good reason
It is quiet in here, the cats have gotten what they wanted:
Kobain his morning snack, and, Jaggar, a reason to prowl around
and act like he owns the house.
It is not a house that I live in. I is a shotgun apartment.
The carpet is the worst thing about it, but my vacuum cleaner
is broken, and I was telling my son, yesterday,
that I hate to vacuum, and a broken vacuum cleaner is a good reason
to have a dirty floor.
Oblivion or better
I may try to sabotage our relationship,
because that is what I have often done;
I haven't killed most of the really important ones,
but I find myself alone a lot.
Mostly, I like being alone,
alone with the words that I type on to this screen,
alone with my thoughts,
away from the insanity of it all out there,
traffic, and cops, and egos,
and signs that make you want to buy,
when you don't need anything.
Sometimes, I want to be like a baby in the womb,
unaware of what is going on out there.
You can't look back; or can you? I am hooking up with one of my oldest friends, today, an old drinking buddy, a man who has been able to forgive me for being a violent, stupid, blacked out prick around him. I am looking forward to seeing him. We have talked on the phone, and on the face book, and he seems to have retained that same boyish smile, that same good attitude towards life that he has always had.
Sometimes, you can't look back. Sometimes, you burn bridges. I'm glad that I didn't burn this one: Bret Standish, I salute you!
I am experiencing the miracle of not being on painkillers anymore. It is good to have a level head, again, and not be torn by my emotions. Oh, I am an emotional man, mind you, passionate about life, and love, and friendship, poetry, and writing, my kids, grandkid, and cats, dogs, and turtles, but I was out of balance for three day, out of control, much like I remember being in the old days.
Some people remember me in the old days better than I remember myself. I look back on me as a violent drunk, who wound up in the drunk tank covered in blood, and vomit. They say that you only remember the bad things that your parents did to you. Maybe I am that way with my boozing...maybe, in order to stay sober, I have to look back at my drink as something bad.
Bad. Bad. Bad.
The sun is not up yet. It is only five a.m., and I am blessed to be alive. Something, or someone looked over me all those nights that I was in a blackout, and I am incredibly thankful for this. May your day be full of joy, and light.
Amen.
Dear Mikel,
Thank you for submitting to HoboEye. I apologize for our morbidly slow response. Our literary editor had to take a personal leave of absence, and submissions piled up.
In response to your poetry submission, unfortunately they are not a proper fit for HoboEye. Thank you so much for the chance to read your poems. Don't take this rejection (who doesn't hate that word?) as a judgment of your work.
Again, thank you for submitting. It ensures that HoboEye remains both varied and innovative.
Warmest regards,
John Sibley Williams
--
"when you can't compose yourself, compose a poem"
---http://jswilliamspoetry.blogspot.com
I still am
Been down.
Been out.
And I still am,
but I don't give a damn,
they didn't call my number for Vietman
I ain't sold nobody an unsafe car
an overpriced house,
or stocks that turned around
and pissed on them.
I been Zen.
I been late to me supper,
that I set for myself.
I been down.
I been out.
And I still am.
(With a nod to Andy Browne, Duffy Odum,
and Richard Farina)
I am
I am the solo guitar in Something
I am the singer in Losing My Religion
and Rider's on the Storm,
I am Beatle
I am a Stone
I am a Door,
I am in front of the band Black Flag
screaming.
Our Heroes
Our heroes should fully exist
outside of us.
We shouldn't meet them,
we should not observe them
up close,
for many, many of them will not
meet up to our expectations.
They will pick their noses,
they will treat friends of ours
like shit,
they will be human,
and that is not what we are
looking for in them.
Do I write for you or me?
I think that, at this point,
since I know that you are
reading me, that I write for
both of us...but, really, I
write more for me, for that
high that it gives me when
I have created something
that I really like. I'm just
a junkie, a word junkie,
getting high on my own fix.
Freedom's just another word
The depression has lifted
the little white pills no longer
have a hold on me,
I am free, man, free.
No more happy hour
I leave my cane on the bed
when I walk now
I don't know if it feels lonely
and I don't care.
My cane is like a dear drinking buddy
who I had to let go
the day I decided to stop drinking.
But I love kitchens, too
She has a nice kitchen;
she might despise me.
Outside Me
I don't know what she looks like inside,
except for what I've seen in magazines.
Sweeter than a kiss
Jack Daniels about killed me in 1977
but I didn't part ways with him until 1982
by the end it wasn't much fun
but what's a drunk to do,
but keep on doing what a drunk knows how to do?
First sip off that bottle was sweeter
than any kiss I've ever gotten off a pretty lady,
I had a new best friend,
A good reason to quit
There is never a good reason to quit,
if it is in your heart and soul to do what you do.
Anyway
She was looking for love,
I don't know if she found it,
but she was lovely to look at.
Calisthenics
I have to do my push ups.
I have to do my bench press.
I don't have to be Arnold.
I need to get addicted to exercise,
like I am addicted to sitting down.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calisthenics
I'm tired of running the show
I'm trying to be perfect, Oh Lord,
I'm trying to be straight A.
I'm trying to please everybody
in each and every way,
but, at the end of the day,
I ain't got nothing left.
Send me a message, Lord,
of how to do thy will.
I'm tired of running the show.
The eggs ain't run out on me yet
Egg shells don't sit too long in the kitchen sinke
they find their way fast to the trash,
I hope that I have enough cash to buy more.
I probably will.
Everything that I can
My heart sings out to you
wherever you are
My passion is directed at you
One day I will hold your hand
and look into your eyes,
and, if I could sing,
I would sing you lullabies.
But, I can't
so I'll do everything that I can
to be your man.
Nocturnal Erection
He is happy to see me,
though you are not here.
Don't Get Me Started
Don't get me started,
I'll just blow you away.
Don't get me started,
you'll have to walk away.
Don't get me started,
I'm no longer looking forward
to a new day,
today is just fine.
Punk Rock Saved Me Back in 1982
Everybody knows me, but
nobody knows where I am
I used to be everywhere
now I am nowhere to be found.
The smoke you smoke
may not be too bad for you,
but I had to lay it down
put on my walking shoes.
When I got to Atlanta
I had nothing left to lose,
backpack and a drinking problem
on my back,
but I found a group of strangers
who became friends.
I threw out the three piece suits,
and put a bandanna on.
The bottle was a given no matter
what kind of clothes I wore.
I never wanted to work for IBM,
but I really got into The Restraints,
easier to be what I am,
than be something I ain't.
Punk rock in Atlanta saved me
from being alone, back in 1982.
Strike a deal, make me feel
like I came here for a reason.
Some threats are golden
they won't go away
they sit like a fish dinner on Friday
when you couldn't stand fish anymore.
Kill the fame,
you'll kill the pain,
be able to go
into the grocery store,
and no one will know you.
Dear Mikel K Poet,
Cyndi Craven has left a comment on your page at ReverbNation.
Mikel K, you have sold me on Java Dawg... I wants some... love your vid!
Your fan and friend,
Cyndi C
Get out of the house you deadbeat daddy
There is this nurse who comes to see me once a week
and one of the things that she asks me is if
I have had a bowel movement.
I feel so special.
Nobody has ever cared about whether I shit before.
She was on the cell phone,
when she came to the door, the other day,
and when she got off the phone,
she said that she was trying to get rid of her dad;
he had been in her house since November,
and it was now, February, and he hadn't paid her a dime
She said that she didn't want to set a bad example
for her daughter, letting some man hang out in her house
and not contribute:
he gets a check, and was giving it to his ex-old lady
The nurse took my temperature, and blood pressure
smiled, and told me that she would see me next week.
I'm never sure if when a woman calls me, "Sir,"
she is into BDSM, or thinks that I'm an old fart.
What the fuck good does thinking do?
Why do apples goes bad,
and why does love mostly never last?
How come some kids grow up to be killers,
and why does nobody care about a crime
if they aren't losing money over it?
Thoughts after two eggs and some whole wheat bread
I'm trying to eat within a zone.
I'm trying to not rob banks,
and start a religion.
I'm trying to not fall in love,
but, gosh, there are
some lovely ladies out there.
Do you think they will fall for me,
if I'm making eighty three dollars
a week?
If there is to be a revolution,
I'm not going to lead it.
I've got my head in the sand,
and I'm doing alright.
I've got to get my shit together,
I mean I feel that it already is,
but, sometimes, other people
tell me what I should be doing.
Is there any merit in creating
the word that does not create income?
Maybe baby just might
I'm no hero; I'd rather be alone
than walking in or in front of a crowd.
Ain't going to pull a Thoreau,
but I might pull a mini-Salinger.
Don't you remember
Our love didn't last, you weren't on
the path that I was on,
we had our sights set
on something other than love;
we were going to be superstars.
I'm not going to wash the dishes,
when I've got a stage to be on,
don't get me wrong,
I would do my share,
but my dreams are, still, somewhere
out there
and not in here, living with you.
Is this incorrect thinking?
I'm looking for coffee partners,
not women to have sex with,
or marry.
I just want to sit down, and chat.
What's wrong with that?
Posted by mikel k poetat 5:29 AM0 comments Links to this post
A good rule of thumb
A good rule of thumb
is to keep people at arm's distance,
and, some of them.
don't let anywhere near you.
This is what I have learned, anyhow.
Posted by mikel k poetat 5:26 AM0 comments Links to this post
Idiots rule
I thank God for keeping me sober,
and a guy writes to me telling me
he drank, and smoked what I didn't.
Some people just don't get it,
and I eliminate them,like I did
the bottle and the cigarettes.
Posted by mikel k poetat 5:25 AM0 comments Links to this post
A good way to get a cave in chest
BOOM goes the thunder,
and the lightening brightens the dark,
sending Morisson into the bed with me.
He digs his nose into my hand,
waking me up, and tries to climb
onto my chest.
I let him manipulate my hand,
but he is not getting on my chest.
Posted by mikel k poetat 5:22 AM0 comments Links to this post
He has show me lots of love
Sometimes, I like it quiet in the morning.
Sometimes, I play music.
Sometimes, I turn the fan on.
Sometimes, I leave it off.
Some times I feed the animals around five a.m.,
but my target time is seven.
There is a storm occurring right now,
outside my window,
one of my dogs is scared.
I am glad that I am here to provide security
for him.
Posted by mikel k poetat 5:19 AM0 comments Links to this post
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2010
Goose or the gander
If you were a dog,
or a monkey,
or a frog,
who was having
drain cleaner tested
in his throat,
how would you feel?
Posted by mikel k poetat 9:36 PM0 comments Links to this post
She makes me salivate, too
She's a lesbian for his love,
because she's not interested
in him coming onto her.
Posted by mikel k poetat 5:04 PM0 comments Links to this post
I live alone
I can't call home,
cuz I'm alone.
Posted by mikel k poetat 5:02 PM0 comments Links to this post
It just ain't right
I need a glass of water,
you throw me to the floor.
You cut the finger off my monkey
to see how he will pick up things
without them.
Posted by mikel k poetat 5:01 PM0 comments Links to this post
Not for you
They salivate when she smiles
or says hello, hoping
there might be more in it for them,
but there's not; there never is
she's got kids, and the ability to
sleep with rock stars, so why would she
spit on you, or me?
Is this incorrect thinking?
I'm looking for coffee partners,
not women to have sex with,
or marry.
I just want to sit down, and chat.
What's wrong with that?
A good rule of thumb
A good rule of thumb
is to keep people at arm's distance,
and, some of them.
don't let anywhere near you.
This is what I have learned, anyhow.
Idiots try to rule
I thank God for keeping me sober,
and a guy writes to me telling me
he drank, and smoked what I didn't.
Some people just don't get it,
and I eliminate them, like I did
the bottle and the cigarettes.
A good way to get a cave in chest
BOOM goes the thunder,
and the lightening brightens the dark,
sending Morisson into the bed with me.
He digs his nose into my hand,
waking me up, and tries to climb
onto my chest.
I let him manipulate my hand,
but he is not getting on my chest.
He has show me lots of love
Sometimes, I like it quiet in the morning.
Sometimes, I play music.
Sometimes, I turn the fan on.
Sometimes, I leave it off.
Some times I feed the animals around five a.m.,
but my target time is seven.
There is a storm occurring right now,
outside my window,
one of my dogs is scared.
I am glad that I am here to provide security
for him.
Goose or the gander
If you were a dog,
or a monkey,
or a frog,
who was having
drain cleaner tested
in his throat,
how would you feel?
She makes me salivate, too
She's a lesbian for his love,
because she's not interested
in him coming onto her.
I live alone
I can't call home,
cuz I'm alone.
It just ain't right
I need a glass of water,
you throw me to the floor.
You cut the finger off my monkey
to see how he will pick up things
without them.
Not for you
They salivate when she smiles
or says hello, hoping
there might be more in it for them,
but there's not; there never is
she's got kids, and the ability to
sleep with rock stars, so why would she
spit on you, or me?
Is this incorrect thinking?
I'm looking for coffee partners,
not women to have sex with,
or marry.
I just want to sit down, and chat.
What's wrong with that?
A good rule of thumb
A good rule of thumb
is to keep people at arm's distance,
and, some of them.
don't let anywhere near you.
This is what I have learned, anyhow.
Idiots try to rule
I thank God for keeping me sober,
and a guy writes to me telling me
he drank, and smoked what I didn't.
Some people just don't get it,
and I eliminate them, like I did
the bottle and the cigarettes.
A good way to get a cave in chest
BOOM goes the thunder,
and the lightening brightens the dark,
sending Morisson into the bed with me.
He digs his nose into my hand,
waking me up, and tries to climb
onto my chest.
I let him manipulate my hand,
but he is not getting on my chest.
He has show me lots of love
Sometimes, I like it quiet in the morning.
Sometimes, I play music.
Sometimes, I turn the fan on.
Sometimes, I leave it off.
Some times I feed the animals around five a.m.,
but my target time is seven.
There is a storm occurring right now,
outside my window,
one of my dogs is scared.
I am glad that I am here to provide security
for him.
Goose or the gander
If you were a dog,
or a monkey,
or a frog,
who was having
drain cleaner tested
in his throat,
how would you feel?
She makes me salivate, too
She's a lesbian for his love,
because she's not interested
in him coming onto her.
I live alone
I can't call home,
cuz I'm alone.
It just ain't right
I need a glass of water,
you throw me to the floor.
You cut the finger off my monkey
to see how he will pick up things
without them.
Not for you
They salivate when she smiles
or says hello, hoping
there might be more in it for them,
but there's not; there never is
she's got kids, and the ability to
sleep with rock stars, so why would she
spit on you, or me?
Something like that
My grin is not crooked, and neither are my teeth.
I don't know a lot about everything, but I know
something about a few things.
I don't smoke cigars.
I don't rob banks.
I don't oppress the peasants.
I don't experiment on animals.
Looking at what's going on in the world
has got me thinking,
no wonder people do so much drinking.
What about Cuba?!
Everybody like it when you keep it to your dogs,
but, if you venture out and say something about
something that you just heard is going on in China,
someone will yell out, "What about Cuba?!!"
Alright
I'd just as soon forget you,
as regret spending time with you,
Baby, I ain't wet behind the ears,
and I don't want either one of us
to shed tears over this connection.
That's it; I've said it,
I've said what I had to say,
now I'm going to go away,
and do what I do best,
stay away from the rest of you.
You'll know where to find me,
hiding in plain sight, alright.
There are so many unwanted animals, just like there are so many unwanted people on the planet. Life is sad for so many beings. China has disconnected the internet in a part of China where race riots are going on. People are killing each other on the streets, and one of the solutions that The Chinese Government has is to take away the internet.
Images are important. People are dieing but we don't want anybody to know, especially during The Olympics when we are trying to look good.
I hope that we can find a home for Marley. Marley, the 2 year old lab/golden house trained puppy, who loves to do tricks is being kicked out of his house on Friday. Do you know anyone who can provide a home for Marley. Please let me know.
I increased my reps, and upped my sets on the exercises that my physical therapist wrote down for me to do, once he left me. I am supposed to do these exercises three times a day, and take three walks a day. My knees won't let me, or at least haven't been letting me, so far. I have osteoarthritis in both knees, and it is quite painful, at times. I refuse to succumb to this pain.
I used a new method of cleaning the turtle's tank, that made it possible for me to clean Prynce, and Rue Paul's aquarium out, without carrying it into the bathroom, and cleaning it and the small, but weighty rocks that lay on its floor in the tub; this method is hard on my back, normally, and would be an impossible thing to pull off with my hip being the way that it is, new to my body, and all.
A multi-million dollar corporation is trying to deny me eighty three dollars a week in unemployment payments. I left the job with a hip that was headed for surgery a week later, and they are trying to say that I left, "voluntarily."
I am amazed by the greed, and meanness of some people.
When I left Rehab, my physical therapist told me that, when I went grocery shopping, I should use one of those electric gizmos that you see parked at the front of the store, that you sometimes see shoppers with canes riding around in. Well, for the past several weeks, I have been one of those shoppers with canes, going up and down the isles in the golf cart like vehicle picking up my groceries.
Saturday, I walked with a regular shopping cart. Becoming one with my new hip, is often a series of baby steps. Getting to where I walk without a can took awhile. Getting to where I can be a regular old shopper at the grocery store took awhile. Losing the pain in my hip, and legs is taking awhile.
I am blessed to be where I am. I sometimes touch my new hip, and thank it for being there. I want to be one with it.
Tingle
You have to admit that there is some chemistry
there is something going on
there is something happening
can you feel it
I can, or maybe that is just a flea bite
that is making me tingle
I don't know who originally said this, but I believe it. It is five 30 a.m. I am wide awake, and thankful to be alive. The cats have had their morning snack, and the dogs have gone back to sleep.
Have breakfast with me
I wanted to love you,
but you wouldn't even have breakfast with me,
there weren't a lot of other men around
that I could see,
but that didn't matter you wouldn't have breakfast with me.
I would have put butter on your toast
I could have been the man you loved the most
We could have made all sorts of plans,
but I guess I wasn't your man
you wouldn't have breakfast with me.
I would have taken you down by the sea,
stopped by jewelry store first,
then got down on my knee by the sea
and asked you to marry me.
I would have put butter on your toast
I could have been the man you loved the most
We could have made all sorts of plans,
but I guess I wasn't your man
you wouldn't have breakfast with me.
We could have gone from New York to L.A.
but you just didn't want it that way
We could have had five star dinners,
but I guess you thought I some sort of sinner
If you had just sat down with me
you would have found that I was a winner
And after breakfast you would have had
lunch and dinner with me
I would have put butter on your toast
I could have been the man you loved the most
We could have made all sorts of plans,
but I guess I wasn't your man
you wouldn't have breakfast with me.
Not for you or me
They salivate when she smiles
or says hello, hoping
that there might be more in it for them,
but there's not; there never is
she's got kids, and the ability to
sleep with rock stars, so why would she
even smile at you, or me?
You see her in the grocery store,
and try to say hello
but she is not going to have it,
she shows a sudden deep interest in Jello.
They salivate when she smiles
or says hello, hoping
that there might be more in it for them,
but there's not; there never is
she's got kids, and the ability to
sleep with rock stars, so why would she
spit on you, or me?
If I die tomorrow
If I die tomorrow,
don't you know
that I'll love you still
Looking down at you
from Heaven's highest hill.
Having coffee with the angels,
I'll raise a toast to your smile,
and tell my new friend's
just how beautiful you are.
If I die tomorrow,
don't you know
that I'll love you still
Looking down at you
from Heaven's highest hill.
I won't date anyone
behind the pearly gates
I want you to live a full life
but I can't wait to be with you, again,
for not only were you my lover
you were my best friend.
If I die tomorrow,
don't you know
that I'll love you still
Looking down at you
from Heaven's highest hill.
Hey God, you don't have to explain yourself
a lot of people have lost faith in you
there is so much bad in the world
and it seems that there is something you could do
Hey God, I still have faith in you
after all I been through
if it weren't for you, I'd be dead
I was blue for years on end, and if I'd owned a gun
I might have been through, but you were my friend.
Well, I was an American boy
raised on a Higher Power, and apple pie,
when I was nineteen I almost quit
believing in the man above
let me tell you why.
I crept into many different beds at night,
liquor on my breath
putting what I had been taught
in the church to a test
and then one Sunday I looked around
the building and realized that I
wasn't acting like the rest,
so I quit going to Church
Your beliefs aren't my beliefs
My beliefs aren't your beliefs
but we can live on the same side of the street
won't that be neat?
When you re down on your luck,
negativity knows what to do.
They say I'm a dime a dozen
They said I should get a job
They said I wasn't good enough for their daughter.
I know this cool kid with a syndrome,
Eddie's a slave,
he works everyday.
Waiting on my best friend
If I die tomorrow,
don't you know
that I'll love you still
Looking down at you
from Heaven's highest hill.
Having coffee with the angels,
I'll raise a toast to your smile,
and tell my new friend's
just how beautiful you are.
And I won't date anyone
behind the pearly gates
I want you to live a full life
but I can't wait to be with you, again,
for not only were you my lover
you were my best friend.
One in one out
They've changed a player in the band,
and everything should still be grand.
To the girl in The Bob Dylan Song
I will love you.
I will leave you.
I will come back.
You will love me.
You will leave me.
You will come back, too.
Skinhead my ass
Turned out that he was just grandstanding in his lyrics,
he didn't believe a thing that he was saying,
was just saying it cuz he wanted to be cool,
and he knew it was what you wanted to hear.
He was never one of you, he was what you hated.
When it came time to make his money,
his punk rock days were through; skinhead my ass.
Second floor, please
Sometimes, I find myself
in a new crowd, crying out loud.
Outlook
The dogs watch me,
as I watch the turtles,
while the cats look out
the front door.
"If you don't spend time in the sun, you'd better be taking vitamin D3...lack of sun creates all kinds of health problems WORSE than skin cancer. You need 20 minute of sun exposure a day..."
Oh great, another thing to worry about, another thing to investigate to see if it is true.
I need a word here as harsh as bitch
Frustration is a bitch
it makes my skin crawl,
my brain become embattled.
It makes all things seem
insurmountable, when they are not.
It shuts me down, heats me up,
But not at 4 a.m.
It appears that the turtles never sleep,
but they do; on their rock, under their lamp.
As addicted as I am
I have been trying so hard to get my past due heating bill together that I didn't notice that I am now behind on my internet bill. I might rather freeze to death than to go without the internet.
I am wide awake at 4:36 a.m. wondering why I am awake.
It is a riddle; am I supposed to be here,
or should I still be sleeping.
I may never be provided the answer.
I hope
I gave you flowers,
then you flew away,
right away.
There will come a day,
when you will stay.
The eyes have it
Fatigue mainly resides
in my eyes, tonight;
the rest of me could continue,
but my eyes are
going to force me to lay down.
Resolve
I am bigger than that,
so I'm not going to do this.
Milton sucks
I had one class left, for the second time in my life, to graduate from college. The first time it was a Real Estate Finance class, that I needed to pass, to get my business degree from FSU. I flunked the class, and wandered away from campus, hungover, but nor far from my next drunk, and very, very depressed. I had started college out as an honor's student, and had wound up flunking out. Happy hours, two for one drink nights, and Fraternity keg parties had beaten me. I was 21 and very miserable.
It was thirteen more years before I put the bottle down. At five years sober, I decided to go back and get the degree that had eluded me when I was drinking, but this time I was going to get the degree that I wanted, a writing degree, and not the one that people were telling me that I could get a job with: business.
I went to school part time for a couple of years, and I had one class to go to get the degree, again, this time a class about the British poet, John Milton, this time to get an English degree with a journalism minor, and I flunked the class.
The teacher said that, "I did not know Milton."
Twice now, I had failed to receive my college degree by one class. What should I do? Blow it off; say that it wasn't my destiny to wear the cap and gown, and hang a degree on my wall for all the world to see?
Fuck no.
I wanted that degree. I had put too much time, and money into not getting it.
(To be cont.)
Would you eat Christ?
I whistle for my dog
I don't kill him
and cut him into steaks.
Steak is a misnomer,
a steak is an animal
that was raised,
and died for you,
much like Christ.
Morning Thought
Take a vow of poverty;
become a Saint helping
the poor,
the ill,
animals.
Solitude is good;
talk to God.
"He was torn between a life devoted entirely to prayer
and a life of active preaching of the Good News.
He decided in favor of the latter, but always returned
to solitude when he could."--Note on St. Francis
"Dolphins commit suicide in captivity,"--Jacques Cousteau
As he pushes the broom
He sees the old folks die,
watches them cry
before they slip away,
says to himself I'm not
going to grow old.
What more could a man want out of life?
I love my dogs. It is fascinating to watch their behaviors,
and a pleasure to share this space with them. They are
good to my cats, good to my turtles, and good to me.
All you need
All you need is love,
and cars houses planes
vacation trips i phones
laptops self cleaning ovens.
Bundy and I did about a quarter of the block walk, this morning, which is a record for he, and I with my new hip in place . Bundy did a good job of listening to me when I said, "Back," which is my command for him to quit straining on our leash. I did not have to pull on the leash back on him very much, on this walk, which was rewarding. Not only were I, and my new hip happy, Bundy was happy. My dog, Bundy, loves to walk, and we have done virtually no walking for months,
because of the past condition of my hip.
Then, after I dropped Bundy back at the abode, and put a leash on Morisson, Morisson and I walked the whole block that surrounds our home. Morisson is easier than Bundy to walk; he rarely pulls me on the leash.
With the combination of these two dog walks, I set a new record for length walked with the new hip, when you add Bundy's quarter of a block walk to Morisson's full block walk.
It's been a good morning, and since I got all this walking in so early in the day, I should be able to do more walking, later this afternoon.
My new hip loves it when I walk!
My kids' grandmother told me how great glucosamine was for osteoarthritic pain, and I was in such pain in my right knee from just that that I bought a bottle of gluc, not really believing that it would help, but do you know what, it worked by the time that I had taken my second pill, on the first day, that I had the bottle of pills.
It is almost miraculous the effect that glucosamine has had on the pain in my knee. I am pain free. Yeah.
There is a difference between
longing and actuality,
you may not get to do
what you want to do.
Blind
I had a glimpse of true love,
but I closed my eyes.
My friend Holly is going over to my friend Annette's house, this afternoon, to meet Marley, the two year old lab/golden retriever who has to leave Annette's home as soon as possible. Marley bit Holly's daughter, and the young girl's father is furious, and wants the dog out of the house. Someone said that the dog can be trained, in one visit, by a dog trainer to not bite a kid who sticks their face in his food, while he is eating, but that is not an option in this case. Hopefully, Holly will like Marley, and take him home with her, and save him from being put down: the non-kill shelters are all full.
The morning is delicious
This morning coffee is delicious
I have made a perfect cup this morning,
My turtles are active,
while the dogs, and cats, still lay about.
I did not rise super early, this morning,
8:30 am is a nice time to wake on a Saturday.
I have a party to go to, tonight,
which is rare for me,
my buddy Art Linton, is taking me
to a party that a freind of his is having.
There will be a live band,
some really talented guys are playing,
and there will be food; yes, food is good.
I thank The Lord for this day,
I thank him for letting me breath the air
of this new day.
Life is good, and I am thankful for it.
When an aquarium becomes a boxing ring
My turtles are called map turtles
because of the intricate pattern on their shells
that look much like a map.
My turtles fight quite a bit.
My landlord was just over here,
trying to get the hot water back on,
and when he came inside our humble abode,
he noticed the turtles going at it,
and shouted out, "Look the are fighting,"
and I said, "Yes, they fight quite often,"
because they do.
The Landlord called later,
and said that the hot water was fixed.
By that time the turtles had quit fighting.
Nothing new to report
everything is about the same,
my name hasn't changed,
I haven't moved,
none of the animals has run off.
The sun has set,
it is the end to another day.
Bundy and I did about a quarter of the block walk
